Like a mighty river flowing ...

In these days of drought it behoves us all to save water where we can, and at the very least to ensure that our taps flow freely and shut off efficiently, and to this end I asked the Diocese to attend to some small problems with a couple of taps in the Parsonage. In the sink in the utility area the taps have battled for years against limescale. A month or so ago I noticed the hot tap was getting stiff, and a few days later, having run hot water into the sink it refused to turn off. I had to resort to shutting off the flow with the screw control on the pipe and then knocking the tap with a hammer until it freed itself and screwed down. Aha! thought I - 'tis the washer! So I purchased some tap washers and set about replacing them. The trouble was, I couldn't undo the top of the tap. It was solid, and no matter how I grunted and heaved, the nut remained locked. Time to call in the professionals, thought I, and so I contacted the Diocese who agreed to the fitting of new taps. And so, yesterday morning, the plumber arrived to deal with that problem and a related problem with the taps in the bath in the guest bathroom. There the hot tap also sticks, and the cold tap dribbles until you screw it shut, open it, shut it, open it, shut it and open it again, at which point it gives a gasp and the cold water gushes out.

The young plumber - just out of short trousers - started with the utility room taps. On the floor, wrench in hand, he succeeded in removing the cold tap, but the problems began with the hot one. The locking nut unscrewed halfway and then stuck solid. It took half-an-hour, lots of muttering, and a quiet prayer to the Almighty from me for skill and strength, before the tap finally came out. The new mixer taps were fitted in ten minutes and all restored to full flow. Then to the bathroom .....

... and this is where the story really starts .....

The bath panel was removed (to the sound of splintering wood since I couldn't remember how I'd fitted it!) and he began to try and undo the hot tap, but there was no way it was going to budge. The tap was solid, and when he investigated the problem with the cold tap he found that the tap mechanism itself was giving up. New taps definitely required, but try as he might, the old ones remained stuck fast. There were conversations with his office on the mobile phone, with the end result that the only way these taps would come out was if the bath was removed so that there was room to really attack the fittings...

... and this is where the story really starts ......

The main problem here is that the bathroom is small, and seemingly built around the bath, for the tap end is recessed into the exterior wall itself. Looking underneath the bath the wall has not even been plastered and the bare brick is showing. Add to this that in order to lift the bath out, the pedestal sink will have to be removed as well. And then there's the damage to the wall tiles ..... so the end result is that a surveyor is coming tomorrow morning to look at the possibilities of removing the bath, removing the taps, or breaking-up the bath in situ (it's a cast-iron one) and putting a new one in. How that will work with the sink still in place is questionable..

... and this is where the story really starts .......

My preferred solution is to smash the bath, remove the pieces, and replace it with a shower cabinet, especially since there is already an electric shower plumbed in over the bath.

And I haven't even mentioned the problems with the drainage from the kitchen sink .....

Watch this space .....

He still doesn't get it.

Jean Mayland, Patron and Trustee of "Changing Attitude" has posted: "In remarks last week ++ Rowan was virtually saying that the Covenant had been destroyed by extreme evangelicals and extreme Liberals. It was not. It was destroyed by the rank and file clergy and laity in the Church of England and he and the House of Bishops need to recognise that." I wouldn't hold your breath, Jean.

More wanderings in the capital

On my recent visit to London I "discovered" the Wallace Collection at Hertford House in Manchester Square. My remaining impression is of an overwhelming number of canvases lining the walls of every room, and of it being somewhere impossible to really appreciate through just one visit. I shall definitely make return visits to take a more structured and leisurely look at the wealth of paintings, artifacts and furniture. I drooled over the Canaletto paintings, and then found the erroneously-named "Laughing Cavalier" by Frans Hals, for the man is neither laughing nor a cavalier ... and in some way the reality only just managed to live up to the memory of the reproductions I've seen of this work right from my childhood, for my parents had a framed print of it for many years which hung in the house in which I grew up.

For more details of the Collection, follow this link.

Maundy Thursday vigil

This year's Maundy Thusday Eucharist and Vigil took place in St. Mary's church, Flixton, and for the first time in 11 years of celebrating this around the Benefice churches, we had an Altar of Repose. It was set up on the altar in the north aisle, and it looked quite effective for the Watch through until 10.00 p.m.

Sunshine in London

Whilst much of the country was experiencing high wind and driving snow, yesterday was warm enough in London for me to walk about without a coat. The blue skies lasted until lunchtime, and as I travelled homeward it was only north of Ipswich that the skies became leaden and I entered continual rain. As well as numerous churches I also got to The Monument at Pudding Lane where the Great Fire of 1666 began, and saw the tall "Shard" from a distance - still under construction.

The day before (Tuesday) I also spent a couple of happy hours wandering around the Mediaeval galleries at the V&A, noting to myself that in the churches of this Benefice I work daily with some of the items thought worthy to be included in a national archive.

Holy Week ....

... and a couple of days in London where you can see all kinds of strange sights ....

Death throes

Thinking Anglicans carries this news comment on the defeat of the Covenant in the Church of England:

…Speaking on Monday, Dr Williams said: “This is, of course, a disap­pointing outcome for many of us in the Church of England and many more in the Communion. Unfor­tunately, the challenges the Covenant was meant to address will not go away just because people vote against it.

“We shall still have to work at vehicles for consultation and manag­ing disagreement. And nothing should lessen the priority of sus­taining relationships, especially with some of those smaller and vulner­able Churches for whom strong international links are so crucial.”

The blinkers still seem to be attached. What this defeat has said is that the Church of England wants to hold on to its Anglican heritage of unity in diversity, and has overwhelmingly voted against any ecclesiastical vehicle "for consultation and managing disagreement".

It appears that as our Archbishop starts to pack his bags for the airy corridors of academia he still doesn't understand this, and nor do the majority of our Bishops.

Ministry Development Review

I have been invited to attend a Ministry Development Review with one of our Diocesan Bishops later this year. In my reply I pointed out that I have not transferred my post to Common Tenure, and that until I read the “Comparison of Freehold with Common Tenure” document, no-one had ever informed me that as an Office holder of Incumbent status my participation in an MDR was voluntary.

I then added that i would be happy to attend this MDR meeting on the understanding that it would be an opportunity to informally review my ministry rather than to formally assess it under the Clergy Terms of Service Regulations.

The CofE has "shafted" me several times since I began training for the ministry. I've now reached the stage of making my position clear, and may well take this opportunity to descibe the various ways in whioch I find myself "out of step" with several official pronouncements.

There again, I might just shut up .....

What we've been saying all along

My cynical side says that our Archbishop saw the writing on the wall .....

Not waving but drowning

As of today, the Anglican Covenant proposals, as they stand, have been defeated by a majority of CofE Diocesan Synonds. The issue is now "dead in the water" and cannot come back to General Synod for at least 3 years, though expect some sort of "back-door" attempt to reintroduce the prescriptive control seemingly desired by the majority of bishops.

Puts a spring into my step as the clocks bounce forward an hour.

Anglican Covenant voting update

In Ripon & Leeds the voting was :
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 12 for, 22 against
Laity: 8 for, 17 against

In Southwark the voting was:
Bishops: 1 for, 0 against, 1 abstention
Clergy: 10 for, 27 against, 2 abstentions
Laity 21 for, 32 against

In Worcester the voting was:
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 5 for, 19 against
Laity: 6 for, 22 against

In Carlisle the voting was:
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 19 for, 13 against, 2 abstentions
Laity: 33 for, 17 against

In Bath & Wells the voting was:
Bishops: 0 for, 1 against, 1 abstention
Clergy: 17 for, 22 against, 1 abstention
Laity: 18 for, 23 against

In Coventry the voting was:
Bishops 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 22 for, 7 against
Laity: 26 for, 2 against


These results take the running total to 17 dioceses against and 10 in favour. Rejection by 22 diocesan synods means that the Covenant will not come back to the General Synod, and can’t be approved by the Church of England.

What strikes me immediately from these six results is how much the Bishops seem out of tune with their clergy and people over this issue. With the exception of Southwark and Bath & Wells, where there were 2 abstentions and one for and one against, the other diocesan bishops held the party line and voted for the proposed Covenant.

That in itself speaks volumes.

Pass the bucket ...

14 punters merrily ate winter vegetable soup and picked at the cheese and paid for the privilege. Only about 6 servings left over, so that worked quite well.

Kitchen madness

It's the day of our first Lent Lunch, and so my home has been turned upside-down to arrange tables and chairs, and I will be able to seat 19 with an overflow into the sitting room with bowls on trays. The soup is bubbling away almost ready to be "blitzed", the rolls ready to warm in the oven, soup kettle on and coffee machine filled. Cheese sliced up, biscuits in bowls, sandwich pickle also on the tables along with salt & pepper, sugar and milk for the tea or coffee. Sliced ham is in the fridge for the one person I expect to come along who doesn't eat cheese.

This year I have cut down from doing this every week for 6 weeks to fortnightly, so there's only 3 to sort out. I have always given them a choice of two soups as well, but this year there's only one. The trouble with doing two is that one is always more popular than the other and I get left with several pints which I have to freeze. Then when it comes out again it's the least popular once more, so it ends up being chucked, which is a waste. So now its a "soup de jour" and like it or lump it.

There have been a few comments from parishioners that it's not happening every week, but I note that no-one else has volunteered to host and cook for the 3 blank Wednesdays ......

On the beach

It has been pointed out to me that this Blog has gone silent for a couple of weeks, so I thought I'd better post something.

I've been going through some old slides of my father's and transferring them onto the computer, and I came across a series of shots of the MS Athina B which ran aground on Brighton beach on January 21st 1980. Along with thousands of others, including myself, my father grabbed his 35mm camera and headed off to the seafront to take photographs of the grounded ship.

The Wikipedia entry for the event reads thus:
The Athina B left the Azores on 11 December 1979 laden with 3,000 tonnes of pumice. Her destination was Shoreham-by-Sea. During the voyage, she had problems with her generator, gyro compass and radar, and put in to La Rochelle in France for repairs. On arrival at Shoreham on 20 January, force 7 or 8 winds meant she was unable to enter harbour. This was not helped by a loss of power from the engines, and a Mayday call was issued. The Shoreham Lifeboat Dorothy and Philip Constance took off half the crew and the captain's family, with the rest being rescued on the morning of 21 January. A total of four attempts were needed to rescue all those on board. The ship drifted eastwards and eventually ran aground to the east of the Palace Pier. The ship broke her back and was declared a write-off.

In a cupboard I have, in an old shaving stick container, some of that pumice cargo, labelled for posterity. I also have some photos which I took the following stormy weekend showing waves crashing over the side of the ship as it lay at an angle on the beach. My father obviously walked along the Palace Pier (now re-named Brighton Pier) and took this shot which shows just how close the boat came to demolishing that structure.


It was all rather fun while it lasted.

Nice ice

Thankfully I haven't had to venture out today - the snow and ice hasn't melted at all and the pavements and roads are treacherous in places. The birds swoop down for the food I put out and the fresh water in the bird bath, which begins to freeze over almost immediately. Over the past week I've seen Dunnock, Long-tailed tits, Blue tits, Great tits, a Green Woodpecker, Collared Doves, Wood pigeons, pheasant, Blackbirds, Rooks, Starlings, House sparrows and Robins. A Muntjac has also made a fleeting appearance. I haven't seen that many parishioners! That's rural living for you!

Snow Day

Saturday 4th February, and the overnight snow arrived as forecast. I woke to a white world.


Managing to negotiate the snowy country lanes I drove to the first service at Rumburgh where there were 5 of us. We celebrated on a card table in the tower room as it was warmer!

At the second service at St Peter South Elmham there were 2 of us, and as the other person doesn't receive communion we said a shortened BCP Morning Prayer and headed home.

I was sent this by someone who should know better

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.”
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

So, the docs changed it to read: “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.

“Catatonics and High Colonics” - No go.

Next, they tried “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives” - thumbs down again.

Then came “Minds and Behinds” - still no good!

Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes” - unacceptable again!

So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts” - not a chance.

“Nuts and Butts” - no way.

“Freaks and Cheeks” - still no good.

“Loons and Moons” - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came-up with:
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends”.

Everyone loved it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

The year of the Water Dragon ... which is me! What is uncanny is how accurate this depiction is of me first thing in the morning as I emerge from the bath!

New Year - New Laptop

Cast into the outer darkness...

... where there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

My laptop has died.

Or to be more precise, the motherboard has died.


I turned it on - several lines of DOS script flashed across the top of the screen, and then it turned itself off.

I turned it on, and couldn't get past the initial Toshiba flash screen. The keyboard was dead, and so was the power button. The only way I could turn it off was to flip it over and remove the battery.

A trip to a shop has confirmed the death of the motherboard, so as it will be cheaper to buy a replacement laptop rather than get a new motherboard and have it fitted (with no guarantee on its life), the laptop is now in pieces in my kitchen with various parts earmarked for sale on E-bay.

The only consolation - both hard drives are still working and by using an external caddy I can access them, so I have not lost any files or pictures.

Could have been worse.