Bathroom Saga

Cutting a long story short, since it was impossible to remove the taps on the guest bath in order to replace them, the Diocese generously decided to pay for a complete refurbishment of the room, and even took on board my suggestion that the bath be replaced by a shower cubicle. So, in the space of 10 days we have moved from this .....

to this .....

and all just in time for the arrival of a house-full of friends this weekend!

The Meetings Season

'tis the season for Annual Church Meetings, and this being a large Benefice I have 10 PCC AGM's to conduct plus one Joint Benefice Council AGM, all before the end of this month.

This year I must be particularly keen on this administrative task since this evening I attempted to turn up to take one which we had held at the end of March. I did wonder why there was no-one there at 7.30 p.m.

I think I need a holiday.

We don't have to ordain you, you know.

This was the memorable phrase uttered by the Principal of Salisbury & Wells Theological College to one student who had just cast doubts on my parentage at full volume on the main stairs of the College. It was said with a twinkle in his eye, which is how I will always recall Rev Canon Reggie Askew whose death on the 9th April was announced in last week's Church Times.

Reggie always stood up for his students and supported them through the ups and downs of theological training. One person who had taken early retirement to enter the church told of his interview with Reggie who looked at him and said, "Well, you'll want to get on with it then if we're to get more than a couple of Evensongs out of you!"

A man of deep spirituality I sat in the Old Chapel as he took us through Meditation techniques - posture, and then slowly listening outwards from ourselves, through to the sounds of the College, out to the Close, then to the far away traffic hum and beyond. They were magical hours.

Then there was his preferred technique of saying the Morning Office - quietly. "If you can't hear the person next to you then you're saying it too loud" was the guiding principle, and so we whispered our way through the responses, canticles and psalms, pausing monastically in the middle of each verse and saying a silent "Ave Maria" to get the timing right.

He had a deep love of the College, having been Lecturer and Vice-Principal of Wells Theological College during the 1960's before it merged with and moved to Salisbury. Every year it was traditional that we travelled back to Wells for an annual Cricket match before Evensong in the Cathedral. He became Principal of S&W in 1973 and remained there until he moved to be Dean of King's College, London, in 1988.

Reggie also had a unique way of looking at liturgy and worship. He encouraged the "Friday Night College Eucharist" which was always a liturgy pulled together by one of the Tutor Groups, and they could be anything, and usually were. The College was also responsible for Evensong in Salisbury Cathedral once a term, and on one occasion Reggie led the prayers. In them we prayed for everyone connected with death, from undertakers to pall-bearers, gravediggers and layers-out, coffin-makers, those who forged the nails and those who wove the silk linings. It was unforgettable, and as we processed out the Dean of the Cathedral was heard to mutter, "Never again!"

When I entered my training I was only "conditionally recommended" and Reggie made sure that I felt secure in my calling and that I would be approved to continue after my first year. I shall remain grateful to him for that, though whether my subsequent congregations would agree is best left unasked.

The end of Christmas term student pantomime in 1983 was based upon a cult TV sci-fi character and titled "Dr. Broo and the Diakons". We had a New Testament lecturer called Dr. George Brook, who was mercilessly parodied throughout, and Reggie was written into the script as "Canonaskew the Cosmic", the portrayal of him on the stage frighteningly lifelike. He roared with laughter throughout, as the picture shows, and that's how I choose to remember his ministry amongst us - a presentation of faith with humour.

A quote from another Reggie seems appropriate here:

From the original series "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin", Reginald Iolanthe Perrin (initials of RIP) is speaking about the type of people entering his new commune:

Well, at the moment we've got a stockbroker, an overworked doctor, an underworked antiques shop owner, a disillusioned imports manager, and an even more disillusioned exports manager. Three sacked football managers, a fortune teller who's going to have a nervous breakdown next April, a schoolteacher who's desperate because he can't get a job, a schoolteacher who's even more desperate because he has got a job, an extremely shy vet, an overstressed car salesman and a pre-stressed concrete salesman. People with sexual problems, people with social problems, people with work problems, people with identity problems. People with sexual, social, work and identity problems. People who live above their garages, and above their incomes, in little boxes on prestige estates where families are two-tone, two-car and two-faced. Money has replaced sex as a driving force, death has replaced sex as a taboo, and sex has replaced bridge as a social event for mixed foursomes, and large deep freezes are empty except for twelve sausages. They come to Perrins in the hope that they won't be ridiculed as petty snobs, but as human beings who are bewildered at the complexity of social development, castrated by the conformity of a century of mass production, and dwarfed by the immensity of technological progress which has advanced more in fifty years than in the rest of human existence put together, so that when they take their first tentative steps into an adult society shaped by humans but not for humans, their personalities shrivel up like private parts in an April sea.

And that sort of sums up Salisbury & Wells Theological College under Reginald James Albert Askew's leadership. Thanks Reggie.

Listening question

How long do you have to listen before you actually hear?

The Church's "Listening Process"

I'm rapidly gaining the impression that the so-called "Listening Process" is nothing more than a phrase that is trotted out when the Church of England is challenged over the issues of human sexuality. Far from helping the Church gain inclusiveness, it has actually put a brake on any movement at all.

The Epistle of James has a lot to say about faith without works being dead.

Like a mighty river flowing ...

In these days of drought it behoves us all to save water where we can, and at the very least to ensure that our taps flow freely and shut off efficiently, and to this end I asked the Diocese to attend to some small problems with a couple of taps in the Parsonage. In the sink in the utility area the taps have battled for years against limescale. A month or so ago I noticed the hot tap was getting stiff, and a few days later, having run hot water into the sink it refused to turn off. I had to resort to shutting off the flow with the screw control on the pipe and then knocking the tap with a hammer until it freed itself and screwed down. Aha! thought I - 'tis the washer! So I purchased some tap washers and set about replacing them. The trouble was, I couldn't undo the top of the tap. It was solid, and no matter how I grunted and heaved, the nut remained locked. Time to call in the professionals, thought I, and so I contacted the Diocese who agreed to the fitting of new taps. And so, yesterday morning, the plumber arrived to deal with that problem and a related problem with the taps in the bath in the guest bathroom. There the hot tap also sticks, and the cold tap dribbles until you screw it shut, open it, shut it, open it, shut it and open it again, at which point it gives a gasp and the cold water gushes out.

The young plumber - just out of short trousers - started with the utility room taps. On the floor, wrench in hand, he succeeded in removing the cold tap, but the problems began with the hot one. The locking nut unscrewed halfway and then stuck solid. It took half-an-hour, lots of muttering, and a quiet prayer to the Almighty from me for skill and strength, before the tap finally came out. The new mixer taps were fitted in ten minutes and all restored to full flow. Then to the bathroom .....

... and this is where the story really starts .....

The bath panel was removed (to the sound of splintering wood since I couldn't remember how I'd fitted it!) and he began to try and undo the hot tap, but there was no way it was going to budge. The tap was solid, and when he investigated the problem with the cold tap he found that the tap mechanism itself was giving up. New taps definitely required, but try as he might, the old ones remained stuck fast. There were conversations with his office on the mobile phone, with the end result that the only way these taps would come out was if the bath was removed so that there was room to really attack the fittings...

... and this is where the story really starts ......

The main problem here is that the bathroom is small, and seemingly built around the bath, for the tap end is recessed into the exterior wall itself. Looking underneath the bath the wall has not even been plastered and the bare brick is showing. Add to this that in order to lift the bath out, the pedestal sink will have to be removed as well. And then there's the damage to the wall tiles ..... so the end result is that a surveyor is coming tomorrow morning to look at the possibilities of removing the bath, removing the taps, or breaking-up the bath in situ (it's a cast-iron one) and putting a new one in. How that will work with the sink still in place is questionable..

... and this is where the story really starts .......

My preferred solution is to smash the bath, remove the pieces, and replace it with a shower cabinet, especially since there is already an electric shower plumbed in over the bath.

And I haven't even mentioned the problems with the drainage from the kitchen sink .....

Watch this space .....

He still doesn't get it.

Jean Mayland, Patron and Trustee of "Changing Attitude" has posted: "In remarks last week ++ Rowan was virtually saying that the Covenant had been destroyed by extreme evangelicals and extreme Liberals. It was not. It was destroyed by the rank and file clergy and laity in the Church of England and he and the House of Bishops need to recognise that." I wouldn't hold your breath, Jean.

More wanderings in the capital

On my recent visit to London I "discovered" the Wallace Collection at Hertford House in Manchester Square. My remaining impression is of an overwhelming number of canvases lining the walls of every room, and of it being somewhere impossible to really appreciate through just one visit. I shall definitely make return visits to take a more structured and leisurely look at the wealth of paintings, artifacts and furniture. I drooled over the Canaletto paintings, and then found the erroneously-named "Laughing Cavalier" by Frans Hals, for the man is neither laughing nor a cavalier ... and in some way the reality only just managed to live up to the memory of the reproductions I've seen of this work right from my childhood, for my parents had a framed print of it for many years which hung in the house in which I grew up.

For more details of the Collection, follow this link.

Maundy Thursday vigil

This year's Maundy Thusday Eucharist and Vigil took place in St. Mary's church, Flixton, and for the first time in 11 years of celebrating this around the Benefice churches, we had an Altar of Repose. It was set up on the altar in the north aisle, and it looked quite effective for the Watch through until 10.00 p.m.

Sunshine in London

Whilst much of the country was experiencing high wind and driving snow, yesterday was warm enough in London for me to walk about without a coat. The blue skies lasted until lunchtime, and as I travelled homeward it was only north of Ipswich that the skies became leaden and I entered continual rain. As well as numerous churches I also got to The Monument at Pudding Lane where the Great Fire of 1666 began, and saw the tall "Shard" from a distance - still under construction.

The day before (Tuesday) I also spent a couple of happy hours wandering around the Mediaeval galleries at the V&A, noting to myself that in the churches of this Benefice I work daily with some of the items thought worthy to be included in a national archive.

Holy Week ....

... and a couple of days in London where you can see all kinds of strange sights ....

Death throes

Thinking Anglicans carries this news comment on the defeat of the Covenant in the Church of England:

…Speaking on Monday, Dr Williams said: “This is, of course, a disap­pointing outcome for many of us in the Church of England and many more in the Communion. Unfor­tunately, the challenges the Covenant was meant to address will not go away just because people vote against it.

“We shall still have to work at vehicles for consultation and manag­ing disagreement. And nothing should lessen the priority of sus­taining relationships, especially with some of those smaller and vulner­able Churches for whom strong international links are so crucial.”

The blinkers still seem to be attached. What this defeat has said is that the Church of England wants to hold on to its Anglican heritage of unity in diversity, and has overwhelmingly voted against any ecclesiastical vehicle "for consultation and managing disagreement".

It appears that as our Archbishop starts to pack his bags for the airy corridors of academia he still doesn't understand this, and nor do the majority of our Bishops.

Ministry Development Review

I have been invited to attend a Ministry Development Review with one of our Diocesan Bishops later this year. In my reply I pointed out that I have not transferred my post to Common Tenure, and that until I read the “Comparison of Freehold with Common Tenure” document, no-one had ever informed me that as an Office holder of Incumbent status my participation in an MDR was voluntary.

I then added that i would be happy to attend this MDR meeting on the understanding that it would be an opportunity to informally review my ministry rather than to formally assess it under the Clergy Terms of Service Regulations.

The CofE has "shafted" me several times since I began training for the ministry. I've now reached the stage of making my position clear, and may well take this opportunity to descibe the various ways in whioch I find myself "out of step" with several official pronouncements.

There again, I might just shut up .....

What we've been saying all along

My cynical side says that our Archbishop saw the writing on the wall .....

Not waving but drowning

As of today, the Anglican Covenant proposals, as they stand, have been defeated by a majority of CofE Diocesan Synonds. The issue is now "dead in the water" and cannot come back to General Synod for at least 3 years, though expect some sort of "back-door" attempt to reintroduce the prescriptive control seemingly desired by the majority of bishops.

Puts a spring into my step as the clocks bounce forward an hour.

Anglican Covenant voting update

In Ripon & Leeds the voting was :
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 12 for, 22 against
Laity: 8 for, 17 against

In Southwark the voting was:
Bishops: 1 for, 0 against, 1 abstention
Clergy: 10 for, 27 against, 2 abstentions
Laity 21 for, 32 against

In Worcester the voting was:
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 5 for, 19 against
Laity: 6 for, 22 against

In Carlisle the voting was:
Bishops: 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 19 for, 13 against, 2 abstentions
Laity: 33 for, 17 against

In Bath & Wells the voting was:
Bishops: 0 for, 1 against, 1 abstention
Clergy: 17 for, 22 against, 1 abstention
Laity: 18 for, 23 against

In Coventry the voting was:
Bishops 2 for, 0 against
Clergy: 22 for, 7 against
Laity: 26 for, 2 against


These results take the running total to 17 dioceses against and 10 in favour. Rejection by 22 diocesan synods means that the Covenant will not come back to the General Synod, and can’t be approved by the Church of England.

What strikes me immediately from these six results is how much the Bishops seem out of tune with their clergy and people over this issue. With the exception of Southwark and Bath & Wells, where there were 2 abstentions and one for and one against, the other diocesan bishops held the party line and voted for the proposed Covenant.

That in itself speaks volumes.

Pass the bucket ...

14 punters merrily ate winter vegetable soup and picked at the cheese and paid for the privilege. Only about 6 servings left over, so that worked quite well.

Kitchen madness

It's the day of our first Lent Lunch, and so my home has been turned upside-down to arrange tables and chairs, and I will be able to seat 19 with an overflow into the sitting room with bowls on trays. The soup is bubbling away almost ready to be "blitzed", the rolls ready to warm in the oven, soup kettle on and coffee machine filled. Cheese sliced up, biscuits in bowls, sandwich pickle also on the tables along with salt & pepper, sugar and milk for the tea or coffee. Sliced ham is in the fridge for the one person I expect to come along who doesn't eat cheese.

This year I have cut down from doing this every week for 6 weeks to fortnightly, so there's only 3 to sort out. I have always given them a choice of two soups as well, but this year there's only one. The trouble with doing two is that one is always more popular than the other and I get left with several pints which I have to freeze. Then when it comes out again it's the least popular once more, so it ends up being chucked, which is a waste. So now its a "soup de jour" and like it or lump it.

There have been a few comments from parishioners that it's not happening every week, but I note that no-one else has volunteered to host and cook for the 3 blank Wednesdays ......

On the beach

It has been pointed out to me that this Blog has gone silent for a couple of weeks, so I thought I'd better post something.

I've been going through some old slides of my father's and transferring them onto the computer, and I came across a series of shots of the MS Athina B which ran aground on Brighton beach on January 21st 1980. Along with thousands of others, including myself, my father grabbed his 35mm camera and headed off to the seafront to take photographs of the grounded ship.

The Wikipedia entry for the event reads thus:
The Athina B left the Azores on 11 December 1979 laden with 3,000 tonnes of pumice. Her destination was Shoreham-by-Sea. During the voyage, she had problems with her generator, gyro compass and radar, and put in to La Rochelle in France for repairs. On arrival at Shoreham on 20 January, force 7 or 8 winds meant she was unable to enter harbour. This was not helped by a loss of power from the engines, and a Mayday call was issued. The Shoreham Lifeboat Dorothy and Philip Constance took off half the crew and the captain's family, with the rest being rescued on the morning of 21 January. A total of four attempts were needed to rescue all those on board. The ship drifted eastwards and eventually ran aground to the east of the Palace Pier. The ship broke her back and was declared a write-off.

In a cupboard I have, in an old shaving stick container, some of that pumice cargo, labelled for posterity. I also have some photos which I took the following stormy weekend showing waves crashing over the side of the ship as it lay at an angle on the beach. My father obviously walked along the Palace Pier (now re-named Brighton Pier) and took this shot which shows just how close the boat came to demolishing that structure.


It was all rather fun while it lasted.

Nice ice

Thankfully I haven't had to venture out today - the snow and ice hasn't melted at all and the pavements and roads are treacherous in places. The birds swoop down for the food I put out and the fresh water in the bird bath, which begins to freeze over almost immediately. Over the past week I've seen Dunnock, Long-tailed tits, Blue tits, Great tits, a Green Woodpecker, Collared Doves, Wood pigeons, pheasant, Blackbirds, Rooks, Starlings, House sparrows and Robins. A Muntjac has also made a fleeting appearance. I haven't seen that many parishioners! That's rural living for you!

Snow Day

Saturday 4th February, and the overnight snow arrived as forecast. I woke to a white world.


Managing to negotiate the snowy country lanes I drove to the first service at Rumburgh where there were 5 of us. We celebrated on a card table in the tower room as it was warmer!

At the second service at St Peter South Elmham there were 2 of us, and as the other person doesn't receive communion we said a shortened BCP Morning Prayer and headed home.

I was sent this by someone who should know better

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.”
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

So, the docs changed it to read: “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.

“Catatonics and High Colonics” - No go.

Next, they tried “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives” - thumbs down again.

Then came “Minds and Behinds” - still no good!

Another attempt resulted in “Lost Souls and Butt Holes” - unacceptable again!

So they tried “Analysis and Anal Cysts” - not a chance.

“Nuts and Butts” - no way.

“Freaks and Cheeks” - still no good.

“Loons and Moons” - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came-up with:
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends”.

Everyone loved it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

The year of the Water Dragon ... which is me! What is uncanny is how accurate this depiction is of me first thing in the morning as I emerge from the bath!

New Year - New Laptop

Cast into the outer darkness...

... where there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

My laptop has died.

Or to be more precise, the motherboard has died.


I turned it on - several lines of DOS script flashed across the top of the screen, and then it turned itself off.

I turned it on, and couldn't get past the initial Toshiba flash screen. The keyboard was dead, and so was the power button. The only way I could turn it off was to flip it over and remove the battery.

A trip to a shop has confirmed the death of the motherboard, so as it will be cheaper to buy a replacement laptop rather than get a new motherboard and have it fitted (with no guarantee on its life), the laptop is now in pieces in my kitchen with various parts earmarked for sale on E-bay.

The only consolation - both hard drives are still working and by using an external caddy I can access them, so I have not lost any files or pictures.

Could have been worse.

The old year now away is fled ....

.. the New Year it is enter-ed.
Then let us now our sins downtread,
and joyfully all appear.
Let's merry be this day,
and let us now both sport and play:
Hang grief, cast care away!
God send you a Happy New Year!


And now with New year's gifts each friend
unto the other they do send:
God grant we may all our lives amend,
And that the truth may appear.
Now, like the snake, your skin
cast off, of evil thoughts and sin,
And so - the year begin:
God send us a Happy New Year!

Oh for God's sake Morrisons .....

... it's only 4 days after Christmas!

Glory to God in the highest

Christmas Past

This was taken at home in Brighton one Christmastime over 50 years ago - one of the rare winters when snow fell in the town. I could do with that balaclava now ....

A good response

This article setting out an alternative path to unity to the proposed Anglican Covenant is well worth the reading and deserves consideration by all - maybe especially by those who so loudly call for the agreement to be signed and implemented.

No room at the stable

One of the more crowded of the nativity scences I've come across, and the more you look, the more you see. Just what is that small child pointing at on the extreme left of the picture, curling round the legs of the buxom woman in blue? And then one of the sheep brought by the shepherds lies in the foreground, legs tied as a sacrifice, prefiguring the crucifixion. Joseph is being pushed into the background by the adoring crowd, off balance and almost falling over. Behind him are more men with packs on their backs and staffs in their hands. On the right the ox is held by its horns, but the bustle on earth is nothing compared with the riotous behaviour in heaven! Naked cherbus frolic, one holding on to the ankle of an angel, whilst another lifts up what looks like a bedsheet and peers blearily down. The angel dressed in rose-coloured fabric looks as if they are in the midst of a game of volleyball, whilst a more serene angel behind consults a book, more interested in words than The Word. Perhaps whjat is more disturbing is that on closer inspection the new-born baby looks, in its position and attitude, more like a still-birth - an interpretation accentuated by the way in which Mary is folding a cloth over his face, just as one covers a corpse.

I don't think that any Nativity Play or film version of the Christmas story has ever dared to follow the vibrancy and sheer chaos as painted here by Abraham Bloemaert in 1612. Maybe we should rise to the challenge and discard the sweet and serene Nativity cribs we erect in our churches and homes, and put up something more akin to this scene of holy disorder.

The days are swiftly flying

Ages since I posted anything, and in the intervening days I have had my pre-Christmas mid-week break, part of which was spent back on the south coast meeting up with friends for a meal and to exchange seasonal cards.


In reality it was a reunion of the owners of the long-closed independant Munnery's Wine Stores in Kemp Town, Brighton, where I worked on and off for about 11 years - them and other members of "staff". It's interesting that our friendship has continued beyond the closure of the shop, and we meet several times during the year, usually around a birthday or some such celebration. Our meal this time was taken at "The Badger's Watch" along the coast road at Peacehaven where there is a superb Carvery, and we dined well.

It's good to have these get-togethers, and there's lots of chat and memories shared. Driving down on the Sunday afternoon I get to stay over with two of the group until the Tuesday, so the journey, which is 166 each way, is not too strenuous. I know the route well by now, and once the Dartford Crossing is past (about 2 hours away from home) there's roughly another hour to go, and I often take a break at either "The Old Ship" or "The Cock Inn" just north of Lewes before the final sprint down into Newhaven.

On the return journey the break takes place at Ipswich and the Tesco store at Copdock. This gives me a chance to buy supplies for home, and the last hour's drive goes quickly.

Now the Christmas season has started in these parishes, and the first 3 Carol services took place yesterday. I was responsible for just one of those, which was the "Carols and Capers" service at Rumburgh that is organised by the local Morris team. I am simply the host giving the Welcome and Bidding Prayer, and then the Blessing at the close. It's the third year this has been running and it provides an unusual start to the Christmas sequence.

On the home front I've made some chocolate truffles, some stuffed dates, and the "pigs in blankets" are in the freezer. I'll start looking for a turkey crown tomorrow after my regular visit to the gym.

Christmas is a-coming in!

A word from the sty

This reply arrived today:


Thank you for your email and apologies for not coming back to you sooner, I have been out of the office.

I hope the following explanation helps! The sausage is make with 80% pork in the raw recipe, but the ingredient declaration reflects the product once it has been cooked. The 1st cook which we do before we send into the Coop gives us 10% cook loss and the 2nd cook in store removes a further 15% of moisture, therefore the mathematical calculation is 104g of pork per 100g of finished product simply due to the moisture loss in the product through cooking which then concentrates the pork value.

This does comply with labelling guidelines however you are right its very confusing and we are investigating how we can declare this in a better way and make it more user friendly.

Regards

Jackie


Jackie Nettleton
National Account Manager
Holmesterne Foods Limited


Nope ... I'm none the wiser ....

They're telling porkies

I have contacted the Company and asked them to explain their maths. No answer as yet.

Day Three

The builders turned up just after 9.00 a.m. arriving as I was driving off to go and say Morning Prayer at another village. Leaving them to it I returned about an hour later to some good news and some bad news. The good news is that a new shower has been fitted in the bathroom; and the bad news ... that there appears to be a fault in the solar converter unit in the loft which will need a Warranty call-out to the manufacturers, and this may take some weeks.

At least progress has been made, and my visitors this weekend will be able to wash!

Unlike The Beatles ...

... who sang "It's getting better all the time - can't get no worse", the saga continues.

This morning (damp carpets still drip-drying in my neighbours old wooden garage) a young man who looked not much older than about 12 unexpectedly arrived from the builders to "Commission" my solar installation. Having seen his identity card I let him in, delaying my exit to the shops as he said he simply had to take some readings and look at the loft installation which would take about 30 minutes.

Forty minutes later, and with no sound from the loft, I checked that he was still breathing and not lying in a shrivelled electrocuted heap, smouldering on the attic floor. He finally emerged shaking his young head and muttering, "I've not seen one do that before. I don't know what's wrong with it. It keeps turning itself off. It shouldn't do that. There's probably a fault in the circuit board so I'll need to get them to come out and replace it. I've turned it all off for the moment."

He departed (back to his mid-morning milk and cookies), and so, a day and a flood later, the system is not yet active.

Then ....

... as my resident house guest entered into the guest bathroom and turned on the shower, there was a gushing in the pipes followed by a gap of a few seconds, and then a loud thump that reverberated through the house. I knew what it was. Following the water problems yesterday there was an airlock in the pipes that had just cleared itself.


My houseguest soon came downstairs and informed me that the electric shower did not seem to be working properly. It was either stone-cold or scalding hot. It went upstairs and played with the controls. After another couple of gurgles the temperature settled down, but when I pressed to OFF button the water kept flowing. I tried it again, but no change. Clearly something was wrong.

A search in the loft access did not reveal the stop valve for the shower water feed, so leaving my guest to crawl around in the second loft space, (and having turned the unit off at the fuse-box) I telephoned the builders. Having explained the problems of yesterday to the receptionist, and then the resulting problems today, she informed me that they could get a plumber out to me tomorrow.

I made it very clear to her that this was not acceptable, and asked to speak to the boss with whom I have always got on very well. I explained to him the problem and said that there was no way I was going to let the water keep running for 24 hours when this was all the result of the cock-up by his employees yesterday. I was put on hold for a few minutes and he came back and said that he would get a plumber out to me this afternoon, which he did.

The airlock had caused the motor controlling the inlet diaphragm to burn out and so the valve was not shutting. With the control lever located in the attic, the water supply was isolated so that there was no longer the continual flow down the bath. He departed saying that they would have to locate a new shower unit for me, and that it should be fitted tommorrow.

Thankfully I have another shower, but I also have guests arriving tomorrow afternoon for the weekend. This could get interesting.
.

Gnome

In the Fawlty Towers episode "The Builders", Basil hires the Irish builder Mr. O'Reilly to carry out some internal alterations to the hotel. He manages to block up the door to the dining room and move another to the base of the stairs. When his worknmanship, or lack of it, is commented upon, he asserts that "a lick of paint here, a lick of paint there" will sort it all out. Sybil Fawlty is less than impressed and lays into him with her umbrella. Basil decides to give him one more chance, which we know will turn out to be disasterous. The episode ends with Basil marching down the driveway of Fawlty Towers clutching a large garden gnome with the clear intention of inserting it into the hapless builder.

I had some work carried out on the house today. The Diocese has decided to speedily install solar panels on the roofs of many of its vicarages, and my turn was today. Two young Irish builders arrived at 07.15 and proceeded to erect their tower scaffolding. By 11.00 a.m. they were ready to drill a hole through the outside wall to feed the panel cable to the fuseboard. It all went swimmingly. Literally. Despite my warnings they managed to chew a small hole in the mains water inlet pipe.

Now the pressure in that particular water pipe is quite high, and my lobby, where all my DVD's are stored, proceeded to get a hefty shower. To cries of alarm his compatriot was alerted and the stop-cock turned off, but not before the carpet was flooded and the DVD shelves dripping merrily.

The afternoon was spent in mopping up, moving all the DVDs into the kitchen, wiping them down, taking out their wet covers and drying them on the radiators. The kitchen table now looks like a DVD shop, and it has to be cleared tonight as I host the post-communion breakfast tomorrow morning. And I have another PCC meeting this evening (in about 35 minutes).

In between all this I not only had a PCC to attend but also a pre-funeral visit with the relatives coming to me and clambering their way over pipes, tools, metalwork and cables, and dam dust-sheets.

The plumber arrived about 4.00 p.m. and it took him a good hour to access the damaged piece of pipe and remove it since the fuse-box cupboard had been built around it. Eventually the damaged section was removed and a new section brazed-in. The Irish lads cleared off before this was finished, their job done.

If I'd had a garden gnome handy .....

Be-attitudes

I returned yesterday from the 2011 Inclusive Church conference that took place at the Hayes Conference centre in Swanwick, Derbyshire.

Seventy people (now there's a New Testament number on which to reflect ....) from the Inclusive Church network gathered to share in worship, listen to different speakers, hear real life stories, be amazed at a magic show and, of course, congregate at the bar.

The conference explored a range of topics, and detailed information can be found on the Inclusive Church website, including the personal stories of those who chose to share their various tortuous lives with the church with the rest of us. All are worth reading and can be found here.

On the tiles

I'm sure these two, or their friends, were in the garden last night!

Horror story

I bought myself the DreamWorks animated movie "The Prince of Egypt" today. It had this classification warning on the reverse of the box. I think we ought to campaign for it to be pasted onto every copy of the Bible in our churches.

Bonfire Night

Fireworks and a grand fire in the garden of the Old Vicarage here in the village. Parsnip soup, hot dogs, hash browns, duck pancake rolls, chocolate brownies, gingerbread men, and red wine. It was a very pleasant evening.

Tis the Feast of the Great Pumpkin

Another good man done gone

Sir Jimmy Savile, entertainer, broadcaster, and generally all-round good guy, has died peacefully at his home, aged 84. On his BBC TV Show "Jim'll Fix It" he made dreams come true for so many people. May all his dreams now be realised.

Tonight's the Night ....

... but don't go to extremes when you turn back your clocks.

Leaving St Paul's ...

At least he'll be in good company on Craggy Island.

The ground around St Paul's

A viewpoint well-worth the read on the Rosie Fiore blog

OMG - here we go again

Now available.
£5 plus postage.
Limited supply.

London - October 2011

Tuesday evening, 19th October, and the golden sun streams down Knightsbridge to illuminate the world-famous frontage of Harrods. I ventured inside for a wander around its ground floor Food Halls, always a place to view instead of to buy, especially at their prices, though my next-day’s foray into Fortnum & Mason showed them to be even more expensive!


Wednesday morning, 20th October, and a walk through Kensington Gardens in the chilly air. Grey squirrels scampered about foraging under the fallen leaves, ignoring the nearby walkers, cyclists and runners.


And so to the bridge across the Serpentine, and leaning over I noticed this line-up of seagulls. This is clearly a regular spot for them, for as I passed by again the following evening, the posts were once again occupied, some of the gulls observing a duck that was diving around them dredging-up tasty little snacks.


Wednesday afternoon I called in at the V&A and spent 10 minutes or so just sitting in the main sculpture hall surrounded by architectural grandness.


Thursday morning, 21st October, and as I walked through Kensington and up to marble Arch I encountered this line of Guardsmen passing Apsley House, en-route to the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace.


By lunchtime I was at the Tate Britain and viewing the exhibition of apocalyptic paintings by the Victorian artist, John Martin. A wealth of canvas and monochrome prints, and a good audio-visual show of his last three great paintings of the End of Days.


Later in the day I walked down through St. James’s Park and got this view from the Blue Bridge – surely quintessential London.




As the sun dipped into the west I ended up at the Albert Memorial and caught the last gleam of light as it shone on the gold decoration. It also shone on something else in front of the Albert Hall, something that shouldn’t, for reasons of good taste and style, be riding a bicycle. I thought I could hear the “Boris bike” squealing …….

In all, an excellent break in the capital, but it was good to get back to the quiet of the country.

Long silence means ....

... that it's been a busy couple of weeks, with piles of paper on my desk that have needed to be dealt with, but much of which has been waiting for responses from other people before it can be taken any further.

And now I have a fortnight off ... and on this, the first day of my holiday, I have phoned the Archdeacon to arrange the Commissioning of a Benefice Elder; dealt with the Diocese over a forthcoming conference I am attending; chased up English Heritage - without whose permission I cannot submit the Faculty application to replace a trashed window in a church vestry; spoken with a church treasurer about a yew tree, a dead branch on a lime tree, changing signatories on a bank account and another account; and re-filed the list of church papers etc. that are kept in the Suffolk Records Office.

But at least my desk now looks less cluttered.


We lift them up to the Lord.

Another autumn morning

October 1st, 9.30 a.m. And the vicarage garden is a delight.