I have a note from Mrs Cynthia .J. Ruud regarding her "Last Wish".
I hope she's left me something valuable!
Zaid Ibrahim wishes to consult me over a "Serious Issue"
Wait a moment - I'll fetch my purple stole.
Dr Ruth Hilton" also has a "Serious Issue..!"
Maybe it's contagious! Perhaps I'd better wash my hands.
Consuelo Terrell in Pakistan has a "New vacancy"
For what, I wonder?
Trevor Simms is offering me "new information about your current position."
Listen, matey, you can't tell me anything I don't already know!
But then again, maybe he can, for in the very next mail he tells me to "have a new one."
In the words of the late lamented Kenneth Williams, "Oo-er, Matron!"