Monday, 25 January 2010

Never mind the Conversion of St Paul ...

.... falling off his horse on the road to Damascus .... (Where was the man from the Personal Accident Claims Company there?) .....

Tonight is

And I've had my haggis and a wee dram ....

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!


  1. Haggis, Tatties, and Mash, right? The tatties are turnips, and Mash is potatoes, yes? Even the wee dram looks good! I hae not any. . .

    I've never tasted Haggis, but it looks better on the plate than in the package!

  2. Haggis, neeps and tatties. And neeps are not turnips but swede. And I don't look at the contents of haggis, as I'm not a lover of offal .... but I have tried the vegetarian ones and they are not that good.
    Another helping lies in the fridge ....

  3. Thanks for the correction. Now if I can only remember. So are Tatties and Mash both potatoes?

  4. Tatties = potatoes - in this case, mashed. You can have fried tatties, boiled tatties etc.

    Mash = mashed potatoes.

    The neeps are made by mashing the cooked swede with butter and a good grind of ground black pepper. No liquid needs to be added as the veg is moist enough by itself.

    Leftovers now consumed - with a gush of whisky gravy. *hic*