A Fistful of Lardons

Two Mexican bandits have been on the run in the desert for weeks. At death’s door they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon - smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving nearly raw bacon, all sorts of bacon.

“Hey! Pepe!” says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We’re saved!”

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree, As he gets within five feet of the tree he's gunned down in a hail of bullets from a group of soldiers hidden there. His friend drops down on the ground and calls across to the dying Pepe, "Pepe! Pepe! Que pasa, hombre?"

With his last breath Pepe calls out, "Ugh! Run, mi amigo, run! Ees not a bacon tree ,ees a ham bush!”